Easter 2017!

This year Easter meant more to me than it ever has. With a brand new baby and in light of some heartbreaking news last week, I can't stop thinking about the fragility of life. I just want to squeeze these two and never let go. I am so grateful for the knowledge that because our Savior overcame death, we can too. 

We tried to teach Lydia about the Resurrection. Buuuut right after our mini lesson I asked her what Easter is about and she quickly shouted, "Easter Bunny!" Hahaha. We're working on it!

Also between Lydia's bedhead, Cannon's scowl and my general lack of awake-ness we're all lookin really fly in this pic ^^^ ;).

I would like to title this picture, "A Tale of Two Grandmas." Michael and I literally did not buy one thing for our kids for Easter (hashtag living in debt). This entire HUGE display is all courtesy of Grammy and Nana! Thanks to family for pitching in and making holidays so fun for our kids. 

(OH MY GOSH sidenote, as I am typing this Lydia just woke up and is shouting, "Easter Bunny!" Awww! Poor thing! For three days in a row we've had Easter egg hunts, so now she thinks every morning she gets to go find candy.)

Anyways - Easter! Lydia woke up to a basket full of stuffed animals, toys and bubbles, and then we pointed out the "hidden" eggs. She was stoked out of her mind when she realized there was candy in EVERY SINGLE EGG. I wish I could've recorded her shrieks of excitement as she cracked open egg after egg and jellybeans and cadbury eggs spilt out! Toddler dream come true! 

So what do all you parents do with your candy eggs?? Michael and I didn't want Lydia eating the whole basket so we hid it in the basement the next morning! Kind of wasteful, whoops. Next year I want to stuff the eggs with other things too, like stickers and coins maybe?

Bunny breakfast.

After a wonderful Sacrament Meeting program and two great lessons, we met up with Michael's family for an elaborate Easter Brunch!

And Lydia was obsessed with the Easter Bunny from about 15 feet away - any closer and ^^^^ this is what we got - ha!

Matching cousins! 

We're really good parents. Lydia was screaming. Oops!

My people! We both decided we look super tired in this, but it's the only non-screaming one we got! I say this so much it's annoying, but kids make holidays ROCK.

My dress: Anthropologie (similar here)

Shoes: Nordstrom (sold out)

Michael's tie: Nordstrom Rack

Lydia's dress: Gap (similar here)

Lydia's shoes: Target (here)

Lydia's bow: Target (here)

Cannon's outfit: Gap (similar here)

I Got Dressed {And Went to Church Again!}

Major bummer that Lydia's covering Cannon in the shot, because look at her smile! 

These days all we get from her is that huge over-eager cheeser (anyone else's toddlers?) that doesn't actually resemble a smile. So when we get 'em we gotta savor 'em!

Also yes her hair is out of control. Working on it ;).

Cannon's apparently starving - shocker! 

Last Sunday I finally went back to church with Cannon! I wanted to go a couple weeks ago, but so many kids in our neighborhood have been sick and I did not want to risk it. Sick newborns = oh my stressful! So we snuggled at home a while longer :).

And this is currently one of like three dresses that fit! Crying face. Sheesh it's amazing what a tiny baby can do to a body. I had my 6 week postpartum appointment yesterday and I'm stoked to get back to exercising except HOW WILL I EVER EXERCISE. How do you moms do it? Michael leaves at 5am, so there's no way I'm working out before that, and then he gets home, eats dinner, and goes back to campus till 10pm! So.... lots of stroller walks I suppose? My gym's daycare doesn't take kids till they're 6 months old. Boo.

Wish me (and my swimsuits) lots of luck!

Baby Blues. But Also Yellows!

I remember someone asking me a few days after Cannon was born if two kids was, as they say, not just double the work, but like 50x harder.

At the time I laughed and told her no way! I'm already changing diapers and cleaning up kid messes all day, what's one more? 

Boyyy was I wrong.

Two, at least for me, has been 1,758x harder. IT IS SO HARD YOU GUYS.

For starters I'm just plain exhausted all the time. So tired I could cry. In fact, I do cry. I cry quite a lot. I cry in the middle of the night when Cannon won't sleep and I can barely pry my eyelids open. I cry when Michael gets home from school and asks, "How are you babe?" Huge tears well up. How am I? I'm anxious because my house is a disaster and there's nothing to eat for dinner. I'm bummed because my one cute shirt that fits now has spit up all down the front. I'm confused because I still haven't totally figured out Cannon's eating issues. Is it dairy? Is it reflux? Is it gas? I'm overwhelmed because Cannon cries all day, and nights are no reprieve. I'm down because the fit body I worked so hard for pre-pregnancy is now just a mushy milk machine. Somedays I'm honestly just numb. Going through the motions to make sure they're both alive and fed. Which actually, with Cannon's struggles, is a heck of a lot harder than it seems.

There are highlights though! It's not always so blue. Like this gorgeous walk, for example. Last summer Lydia and I walked down the street to get the best $1 fro-yo at least twice a week, so it was fun to bring Cannon along for his inaugural fro-yo experience.

And I can't help but smile at how perfect spring is in Utah. Tulips! Cherry blossoms! I'm not even a nature person but it's hard not to love it.

And really there are days - or parts of days - when the house is picked up and Lydia is cooking imaginary food and Cannon is actually calm and I see snippets of a bright big future. One of these days you'll actually have 20 minutes to take a long, burning hot bath. Eventually you really will sleep again. And soon enough they'll be running around this house together! Automatic playmates. So in these moments I hurry and give myself a pep talk to soak it all in - because 5 minutes later it all might hit the fan ;).

Family Pictures

A week after Cannon was born, my amazing sister Olivia snapped a few quick family photos for us! With Lydia we hired a professional photographer, but this time around we were trying to save more money, and figured with Olivia's talent and with some decent lighting we could pull off our own pics for free! And I'm so happy with how they turned out.

Lydia was actually having a major meltdown that afternoon, so Michael kept trying to tickle her and my mom kept jumping up and down behind the camera to get her to laugh! Haha

Lydia has been obsessed with Cannon from Day 1. Every morning she wakes up and runs into my room yelling, "CAAAANNON! CANNON BABY!"

My loves :). 

Thank you Liv for working with our craziness and capturing these little moments!

Back in the Kitchen - BBQ Chicken Pizza

I've literally gone an entire month without making a single meal - minus a few smoothies and the one time I made eggs. Ha! We've been so lucky to have amazing moms and neighbors provide meals for us these last four weeks, but now I need to get back at it! I'm always on the lookout for super fast, moderately healthy, semi cheap and of course yummy meals - and this one fits the bill!

I actually used to make pizzas (thai chili, bbq, classic pepperoni, etc) about once a week when we were dating/newlyweds since it's so cheap and easy! I need to start doing this again now that my time is super limited. 

So here's what I made yesterday and you should too!

Put two really small chicken breasts in the crockpot with some water and seasonings for a few hours.

Shred yo chicken. 

Dice yo veggies and shred yo cheese.

And buy Trader Joe's dough! Or make this quick 15 minute dough (here!) that I really like or this simple all-day-rise dough (here!) that is totally delish.

Sprinkle some cornmeal on a baking sheet, roll out your dough, and get all saucy creating modern art.

(Side note: Michael walked by as I was writing this and was convinced this had some sort of inkblot test significance, ha. He thinks it looks like a baby smiling in the womb - whatever that's supposed to mean?!)

Anyways, now just smear all those inkblot imaginations away.

Cheeeeeese.

Chicken.

Veggies.

OH MY! (Extra drizzle of BBQ sauce for effect and for taste duh. More the merrier when it comes to sauces!)

Then just throw in the oven and remember how awesome you are cuz you just made dinner in 5 minutes!

BBQ Chicken Pizza

Ingredients:

- pizza dough

- shredded chicken

- mozzarella cheese

- bbq sauce 

- sliced red onions

- diced bell peppers

- any other veggies you want

- cilantro

- flour for rolling out dough

- cornmeal for sprinkling on baking sheet

- red pepper flakes & parmesan cheese for serving (optional)

Directions:

- Preheat oven to 475*

- On floured surface, roll out dough and pierce 10 times with a fork

- Sprinkle cornmeal on a baking sheet

- Place dough on cornmeal

- Cover with BBQ sauce

- Load on toppings (minus cilantro!)

- Bake anywhere from 10-16 minutes, depending on the thickness of your dough

- Sprinkle cilantro, red pepper flakes and parmesan cheese on top

- Enjoy!

Can Can Lists and Random Pics

Cannon absorbing nursery rhymes through osmosis.

Last week my incredible mother-in-law was in town helping us out! She took Lydia on dates so I could sleep, she cooked us dinners, she was on her hands and knees cleaning my floors - she is amazing. THANK YOU JOAN!

The two newest cousins! Maddie and Cannon

Amidst all of this service we had lots of time to just talk about life! And we came to the conclusion that life with tiny kids is a lot of chaos and messes, but there are always the moments of silver lining that make everything worth it. (I guess this is applicable to life in general, kids or not.) And lately we've had plenty of chaotic times, but also we've been so blessed with tender, miraculous moments that bring so much gratitude.

Mama Daughter Date to the dinosaur park at City Creek! Sponsored by fruit snacks always and forever amen.

A few days ago I was determined to cook us dinner (I haven't made anything for a month). So I loaded up the kids, got to the store, and realized Michael had my wallet - mom fail. So we drove right back home and I was looking through my freezer to see what I could throw together in two hours when all of us a sudden someone knocked on my door. I opened the door to see the sweetest gal in our neighborhood with a hot casserole in her hands! "I just thought you might need this!" She smiled. "Use it now or freeze it, whatever you want!" Of course I got all choked up. How incredibly in-tune of her to think of our little family just at that moment.

The cutest hardworking husband sending a selfie from the room he's in from 5:30am till 5:30pm.

On Thursday I was trying (unsuccessfully) to nurse Cannon while Lydia simultaneously smeared a granola bar all down my pants. Cannon was starving and nursing wasn't working so I raced to hook up my pump while Lydia was crying "Up, Mama! Up!" I was rocking a screaming Cannon and pumping and trying to convince a sobbing toddler that I couldn't hold her right then and I just lost it. Big tired tears rolled down my cheeks, and when Lydia saw that she ran and got me my water bottle and said, "Drink! Mama drink!" with the sweetest smile on her face. Thank you lovebug :).

HA.

Had to document the one day I semi got ready. And yay for eyelash extensions to make me at least feel a teensy bit done when I haven't changed my bra for 2 days.

I've been pondering a lot on a phrase I heard during the LDS Women's Session of General Conference (watch it here!). President Burton mentioned a friend who was paralyzed and obviously very limited in what she could do. But instead of focusing on her disabilities, this friend created a running "Can Can List" - a list of things she CAN do! "I CAN pray, I CAN breathe, I CAN feel my Savior's love." This struck such a chord with me, since for one of the first times in my life I feel like I really cannot do much at all. But this "Can Can List" idea has come to my mind so many times this week. I may not be able to shower or sleep or get to the grocery store, but I CAN pray, I CAN snuggle my babies, I CAN accept all this wonderful service from amazing friends. (I CAN occasionally just let Lydia watch the entire movie Frozen just to get through the afternoon ;).) I know this list will grow as I become more capable as the weeks go on, but for now I'm just going to count my simple blessings as they come.