How to Be a Better Empathizer

The other day a friend showed me this 3 minute video on empathy, and it really made me think! 

For some reason I've held on to this thought that saying "me too" when a friend shares a trial they've been going through kind of minimizes their experience. It's like, Oh that's not a big deal, I've had that awful thing happen too! It almost seems like a selfish response, accidentally shifting the conversation away from the pain that person is feeling to my personal scenario. 

So I've tried to steer clear of "me too's". But this video explains how an empathetic response requires remembering those same painful feelings we've had in our own life in order to fully connect with that person, which may entail a "me too"-esque response. Interesting! 

Another favorite take away from this clip was how starting a statement with "At least" is rarely empathetic. Ha! How often do I do this?? Just yesterday a friend told me she totalled her car, and after we talked about how terrible that was I blurted out, "Well at least your new car looks really nice!" That may have totally squashed her vulnerability and made her feel like I wanted her to just buck up and quit complaining. Which wasn't my intention at all! 

So what do you think? Is "me too" helpful or minimizing? Any other thoughts on the clip or on empathizing?